You are here:  / Blog / How to improve sex life after 15 years of marriage

How to improve sex life after 15 years of marriage

It appears to be evident in America and around the world, people are directly or indirectly affected by loss of libido. Regardless of how they found out, they are very aware that it is a real and serious matter, affecting more men & women than ever before. Often, sexual attraction disappears between couples who have lived together for more than 15 years.

Not so evident are these causes; although they maybe should be:

– Sex has become routine.

– Basic hygiene & sculpting.

– One or both partners stopped caring about their appearance.

– No seduction-charm-the things each of you did to win the prize when you first met… remember?


If you happen to be the one that has significant other struggling with their sexual drive. A recommendation that has proven to work; is to let them know that there is no pressure coming from you. Let them know that you are there to listen, help and try to see things from their perspective.

Ways that really work

If your sexual relationship is at an impasse, try to do some things together, and it really works!

– The smell of sweat can increase libido. That’s right, studies have shown that smelling your man after an exercise or sweating can increase the level of your hormone cortisol which can stimulate arousal. Consider exercising together, or give him a big hug after he exercises.

– Red is a color that stimulates the libido. Red is a signal of power and sexual fertility. Seeing your girl wearing red has been shown to stimulate sexual arousal.

– Studies have shown that simply interlocking fingers with your partner can start the hormonal reactions that lead to sexual arousal. In fact, touching is one of the best-known ways to stimulate sexual arousal. Try starting slow with something like interlocking fingers to start the intimacy.

– Yoga is a system of stretching and breathing while concentrating the mind on the body. This is a great way to get more in touch with your own body and this has been shown to increase libido activity.

– Also exercise is a great way to stimulate the libido. Exercise stimulates blood flow and relieves stress. But most importantly, exercise will help you feel good about yourself, and that is the best libido enhancer.

– Adrenaline is related to libido function. You should try to do something exciting or scary with your partner. Roller coasters, zip-lining, anything new and different can help stimulate your libido.

Don’t do it!

There is pretty much advice that is supposed to help men last longer during sex. The reality is, a lot of this advice offers only temporary solutions. Here are some common strange advice and products that are currently available:

“Don’t think about sex, think about something else”

It’s probably the most nonsensical piece of advice to give a man who is suffering from premature ejaculation. So you are having sex and you are supposed to forget about it and instead think about something else? Like what? Your favorite TV show or maybe that your car’s rear light needs fixing? Following this advice you could gain a minute or two, but then why would you be having sex in the first place?

Learning “mental control”

All right, we can see this working. But then again, as much one might want it, mental control will not make you last for hours. It’s going to give you a few additional minutes at most. But it will also draw your attention away from the fact that you are having sex. There’s nothing like two people “losing themselves” in passionate love-making! Mental control however simply prevents that from happening. In fact, it can even make sex boring. Why would you want that?

Hormone regulation

The idea here is that there are certain hormones (serotonin and dopamine) in your body that make you reach orgasm faster. Therefore, if you lower the levels of these two hormones through diet and certain exercises, it would take you longer to reach orgasm… The problem here is that these same two hormones are the ones that make sex pleasurable! In fact, low levels of serotonin are associated with clinical depression and dopamine is known as the hormone of “pleasure and motivation”. So how about some “depressive, unpleasant and unmotivated sex”?. Uh, no, thanks.

Using erection pills, herbs, creams, etc

If they are legit, they might work. However, there are plenty of fake or counterfeit pills and creams that are either useless or outright dangerous. Most herbs are simply placebos meant to fool the user into thinking the stuff is working. Plus, all these products are only temporary solutions. Whenever you want to have sex again, you need another “dose”. This way, the makers of these products keep you coming back for more. That’s until your body develops a tolerance and they stop working.

As you can see there are some serious problems with most methods currently available.

You can try these methods if you intend to resume your active sexual relationship after many years of marriage.

But these are not the main reasons for your failures. Talk with your partner and try together to find options that will allow you to enjoy your marriage in all aspects, including sexual intimacy.

This article is written by Dr. Gaines W. Hammond, the urologist and a Fellow of the American College of Surgeons. All rights reserved, including the right to the public this article by Dr. Gaines W. Hammond.

Was this article helpful?